YDN-11

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Good evening!

Annual Picnic, a bi-annual affair, held once in 3 years and one that has seen participation rise with every such event being organized, was held this year, with much grandeur and élan at Saptorshi’ s wife’s son’s maternal grandmom’s husband’s place!

While it might take some time for immortal humans like you to understand the relation, let me begin this edition of your favorite update by wishing all auditors and secretaries a happy year ahead, Aditya Marodia a Happy Birthday and Ashish Bagri a Happy Saraswati Puja!

On the 21st of January, a Sunday, at 8 o clock in the morning, when the sun had just decided to proceed to work, 30 young enthusiastic energetic rejuvenated and charged up men and women were heading towards Russel Street. No, it was not on the call of Mamata di. This time it was our very own Meenakshi di! The occasion- Annual Picnic of the Internal Audit Department.

Everybody decided to ride the bus even though there was four chauffeur driven cars to be availed of. The reasons are plenty.

One, there were 32 seats in the bus so people like Pankaj and Sai could pretend to sit on only one seat whilst enjoying the luxury of close to 75% of the other seat as well!

Two, all the wafers and the chips had been inadvertently loaded onto the bus so people like Modi and Ashish could take the cue of traveling together whilst having a wholesome pre breakfast meal.

Three, there was a constant dose of Bhojpuri and Bihari songs playing in the background so Marodia and Vinay could dance away to glory. In typical Durga Puja Bhashaan ishtyle!

Four, ‘engaged’ Naresh, and ‘occupied’ Vikram were also on the bus singing aloud motivational and patriotic songs! For the uninitiated, Naresh is ‘engaged’ to a girl named Puja and Vikram has lately been only ‘occupied’ with planning, in advance, which future auditor should spend how much of the ITD’s hard earned money in his/her wash room expenses!

We reached the venue, our voices almost gone in the non-stop Antakshri during the bus ride, at about 9:20 am. Whilst all the children including Vinit headed straight to the cricket pitch, the distinguished and honorable men such as Sharmaji were more worried about their high cholesterol intake in the soon to be served breakfast!

Rahul decided to make a grand entry. After all, all VIPs drive in late. So what if Mr. Basu drove in, in a sedan and our very own Rahul chose an Indica! But for him to come from Delhi only for a day, attend this important event, and then ride a hand pulled rickshaw back to his hometown, Tribeni, is indeed very credible!

Smita is a rich woman with a lot of hidden treasures! For many of us, this picnic was an occasion wherein her actual wealth was there for everyone to see. I wonder how did she manage to hide them away from so many glaring eyes for such a long time. No. I am not talking about the invaluable Audit Reports that are in her safe custody in office. I am talking about her children!

Sidharth was looking stunning in his Ray ban shades and Nike sports shoes. How many of you knew you could get both of the above on hire for about Rs. 50/- per day each, from the local vendor in Burra Bazar?!

Immediately after breakfast, all the men and Dyutika were nowhere to be found. They were absent from the picnic venue for close to three hours! Playing cricket in the nearby open field- the grazing ground for Basanti and her family, Thakurpukur’s famous milky cows!

During the cricket match, suddenly someone noticed Abhishek Saraf lying on the grass and basking in the sun. Of course, he was looking exhausted and totally tired. But his pose reminded of the movie ‘Umrao Jaan’ with only the ‘gajra’ absent from his wrist!

The star of the cricket match was undoubtedly Amit. When he had started running into bowl, the batsman, Pankaj, was all set, having taken his guard. However, by the time Amit had finished running and reached the crease, about to bowl his heart out, with a shrill shriek, Pankaj suddenly realized there had been a big fat mosquito sitting happily on his thin neck and feeding into his juicy and sweet thick blood. Both Amit and Pankaj shouted thereafter. Pankaj in pain and Amit in agony!

Sumanto and Meenakshi had decided to be the sole entertainers of all children around. (This time, Vinit not being in the above list though!) Whilst Sumanto could be seen with different children in his lap every five minutes, Meenakshi was running around ten chairs, all of them kept in one straight line, and encouraging other amused children to follow suit!

What followed after lunch was hilarious dance and superb singing. Hilarious because there were dancers like Marodia and myself who continued with Bhangra steps even when Himesh, in his nasal best, was singing aloud, ‘Jhalak Dikhla Ja’…………..Superb because Sumanto da was confusing Naresh, Vikram and Modi with his heart belting Bengali Rabindra Sangeet!

If I carry on in this fashion, this ‘YDN’ edition will become longer than all editions put together! In any case, I have serious doubts how many would have read the entire issue!

Cheers!